Sunday, September 30, 2012

Got Self-Defeating Money Conversations Lurking in Your Mind?

When I first started my coaching business I felt inept and powerless when it came to making money.
I had a difficult time imagining that I could ever make a decent income. I believed that the only way I could end up with any money at the end of the month was to manage it very frugally.

However, I realized that if I were ever going to become successful at creating money that I had to become 100% responsible for how I was interpreting my ability to create it.

I became aware that I had an on-going internal dialogue about my inability to make money. I felt like it was out of my hands - and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I had the belief that entrepreneurs were either born with the "money making gene" or not. In short, I felt like I was powerless when it came to money.

At one point when I was feeling particularly frustrated with my failed attempts to make money I told myself, "I am sick and tired of struggling with this! From now on I'm going to be 100% responsible for my thoughts and beliefs around money."

I realized that what I think is my "reality", or what I believe to be "the truth" about my situation was really just my interpretation. One of my mentors, Jim Bergquist, a master at coaching the inner principals of creativity in business, helped me to see how I was interpreting my ability to get clients and make money.

Through this process I realized I had to discipline myself to actually BE different instead of just thinking differently. I started to tell myself, "I can see the way I'm interpreting this is not very powerful because I don't feel empowered... and then I would go to, "Am I willing to be 100% responsible for my financial circumstances?"

I now apply this to all situations and circumstances in my life - not just with money - and I'm actually getting really great at creating some amazing results!

I recently went out to dinner with my husband. He seemed preoccupied after having had a busy week. I started to feel resentful that he wasn't being present and more conversational. But then I stopped myself and realized that I was being judgmental. This served as an indicator that the way I was interpreting my situation wasn't very powerful.

Even though I had believed that my husband was "entirely to blame for his attitude" I chose to accept complete responsibility for how I was showing up.

And in that moment I had the insight, "I could just passively listen and feel resentful or I could actually show up differently - and while I can't control my husband I can control my reaction and therefore the quality of my experience."

I let go of my resentment and listened to him with genuine interest and without any judgment. Soon the energy shifted and we ended up having a wonderfully connecting evening.

Apply these principles and you'll find that you can transform not only the financial success you achieve in your business but in your life as well.

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